happy chinese new year

Have a roaring Tiger year filled with happiness, good health and great fortune! Happy Chinese New Year!

I Am

I am ...
A woman
With a full heart, hidden
Somewhere in an empty room ...
With eyes not quite of autumn's gold, and yet
Neither all of summer's green;
I wonder ...
If love is a tale made for children --
A granting of sweet dreams in their innocence --
A honey-coating to help their throats
Choke down the bitter draught ...
I hear ...
A voice that whispers warnings, half-formed,
Bodiless as hope, until I swear I cannot draw
Another breath unless this spectre be unmasked,
His lies mangled ‘neath my righteous tread;
I see ...
A woman, proud, uncompromising,
Diaphanous as air -- less, even, than the tears
That fall in desolation about her weary feet,
Salt poison pooled upon the withered ground ...
I want ...
A measure of quietude, a certain silence,
The echo of alone which heals me of dreaming,
The nothing that stills the wanting,
The numb, the cold that laughs at pain;
I am
A woman,
hidden ...

I pretend ...
That I can live forever -- that Time
Has no puissance but that which I afford Him --
And so, I can wait, I can be happy tomorrow,
Sleep is for the dead; but its ghosts haunt my waking ...
I feel ...
Too much -- too deeply to be directionless,
Too real for imagining, and yet the familiar eyes
Hold nothing of recognition -- only my reflection --
A meeting of shadows in sunlit glass;
I touch ...
The downy wings of hope, in wonder,
In reverence, in need, in hunger;
Alas, it burns my fingers as a flame,
A sacrilege, self-defined ...
I worry ...
That I am alone; that in my longing
I have forsaken all -- but oh, what reward,
What smile divine should light the path to freedom --
And how can I but heed the siren's call?
I cry ...
For having too much, for fear of bursting,
And then, when by the pouring of my soul
I lie, a vessel emptied, I cry again
For what was had, and lost;
I am
A woman,
empty ...

I understand
That life is what you make it,
That sometimes, the coat of many colors
That marks your triumphs brightly, blends only
To loneliest of grey ...
I say
That we are made by life, shaped,
Broken, perhaps -- unmade and voided --
But always, the core of us remains, waiting
With only faith, with trust, to be reborn;
I dream
Of bluest waters, reaching
With unnatural hands toward the faded sky,
Of dolphins that wander in seas without limits,
Carrying me water-breathing past corals and clouds ...
I try ...
To lead by example, knowing
That merely the telling holds no power;
A gift of giving is merely a day, while
A gift of knowing spans forever;
I hope ...
That my darkness holds you gently,
That pain is halved by sharing, that feeling
Wields nothing past the words it summons,
Except that it touch you with only healing ...
I am
A woman,
only.


~Skyfyre

CNY oh CNY

Yay! Finally a break!

Even though it's a break from school and not from work (and a very short one too), I'm pretty hyped up knowing that Chinese New Year (CNY) is just around the corner! I'm probably the only one who's that excited for CNY as it's the only time in the year where I get to have the whole family, including both of my sisters' (as they're married), get together and spend some quality time.

Haha I'm in such good mood anticipating that the exhaustion I just accumulated juggling assignments and work for several months wear off when I think of what to decorate my house with for this upcoming festivities. I've bought two gigantic yellow pineapples (a symbol for good fortune and luck) and a lovely 福 (which means the same thing as the pineapple), in which the font is designed with pink and red peonies in cardboard.

I happened to drive past a store selling CNY decors on my way to school when this huge yellow pineapple hanging between two smaller red pineapples caught my eye. I couldn't get the picture of it off my mind for some reason and as I'm always in a rush to school, I didn't stop and purchase them. I was so fixated on them that I told Kevin (my bf) that I must get them.

Thinking they are easily available, I looked for them at similar stores when I passed by them on foot but all of them don't carry this specific pineapple. Fellow Chinese must be thinking 'why' right? That's because the one I eyed on is the largest one - 45 inches - as compared to the ''normal' size of about 20 inches. That supposedly enormous one just seemed like the right size to me that I refused to buy any of biggest ones (30 inches) available there.

When I finally went to that store and purchase them, I was (and still is) elated. Walking away with the pair of $38 pineapples, I was grinning from from ear to ear. Once I reached home, Kevin helped me to set up and stapled them as they were in the initial flattened state.

The moment he helped me hung them up, I couldn't help laughing to myself. They're really huge! Way too big to be hung at the sides of my front door! Kevin was like, 'don't look at me, I told you it's going to be really huge, you're the one who's bent on getting it in this size'. What if my three mischievous little nephew and nieces pull them down?!

As my camera is not working anymore and I'm still contemplating on whether I should splurge on one, I can't upload any photographs on them at the moment. I'll try to upload them soon! Meanwhile, I hope that all the Chinese have as much fun and enjoyment as me preparing for CNY!