musing at life

ruminator embodiment

2010-07-22T02:01:00.003+08:00

I always have a knack for remembering useless things. Think my mind has a tendency to fill my memory storage with useless matters before I get to proceed to think about my problems. And I ponder over them endlessly too (till I've got a definite answer). Here's a list of what I've been ruminating lately:

Why do I always love to write important details in abbreviations? I can't remember what they mean when I read them again!
How come drivers of normal-sized vehicles (sedans like a 1.5 Toyota Vios) can occupy two lanes on a straight road as if they're driving an Isuzu container lorry?
Or that some vehicles speed just to overtake your vehicle, only to drive at 30% the speed in front of you?
How come consuming coffee can keep one awake yesterday and not today?
How come chips from one bag can be evenly seasoned and another of the same flavor not?
There are days when I paused to think of how to spell simple words like 'straight'. (Oh god I must be turning dumber)
I've been counting the number of dramas that I stopped watching at the second last episode as I don't want the series to end with me watching their last episodes. And I realized it's A LOT. You''ll most probably get a response like this from me, "Oh that drama? Yeah I've watched it till the second last episode so I can't really tell you if I think it's fantastic or not. Up to that point, I think it'll get a 7/10 but knowing me, I'll fail it as soon as I know it's a terrible/utterly depressing/hasty ending."
Workaholics can also be defined as a group of people who naturally work compulsively once they stepped into their workplace or working mode but once they stop or leave, they find that they hate their jobs. But hey, it's a vicious cycle.
Silence is never 'golden' in the library. Just head down to the one in my school.
It's not that women don't like answering questions relating to their age. It's just that when a female reaches a ripe old age of 25, she just doesn't see the point of keeping count after that.

measure of a man

2010-06-24T01:06:00.000+08:00

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy."

~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

hues of sunset @ mandai

2010-06-14T00:54:00.003+08:00

Rediscovered a great place to view sunset. Moderately deserted. Saw a few lovable children running around, even a couple having their wedding photo shoot. And of course, the mesmerizing shades of dusk that seems to put a serene full-stop to the buzz of daytime. Perfect for a couple like us.

intriguing...

2010-05-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

one laid-back day

2010-05-19T02:58:00.002+08:00

I realized that many of my friends have been opting for a quiet laid-back weekend lately to unwind from the stressful life that we all lead. Feeling suffocated from constant mental pressure, discovering lesser known (that means lesser crowd too) eateries is my recent hobby to escape into my relax-and-enjoy-my-food realm.

Kevin and I chanced upon Ma Maison at Boat Quay when we were looking for a nice dessert after having awful ramen. I love all things homely and cozy, and just a peek into this French-inspired Japanese eatery has me determined to visit there. We finally went there to have our (early) dinner the next weekend!

We were lucky to get a secluded corner table next to the window overlooking a part of the Singapore River without making any reservation. This is the view from our table.

I was surprised when the waiter puts this metal key and tag on our table. The waiter must have seen our puzzled look, and explained that we've to present this at the counter upon payment. Looks like a key for a hotel room right?

Kevin's: Tonkatsu Set with their special homemade sauce and salt (not in picture)

Mine: Beef Stroganoff Omelette Rice

Black Sesame ice-cream

Caramel Pudding

The restaurant was full by the time we snapped out of our eating delight when we are done eating, with a long waiting queue outside.

After much persuasion, Kevin finally gave in to my suggestion of driving to Tanjong Pagar just to have a taste of a cup of milkshake from this increasingly popular ice-cream parlor. I like their packaging, but not really their taste. It tastes good when we drink it at first, but it gets overly sweet after that, leaving us sick of it. Nonetheless a nice yummy day!

how do you comfort a loved one?

2010-05-02T02:54:00.002+08:00

A person who's very dear to me has lost a loved one. But I've no idea how to comfort him and make him feel less painful. Should I sit down and cry with him as I'm feeling sad too? Or should I try to be as cheerful and make him laugh so that he will brighten up a little, at least a little?

Le Concert

2010-04-23T01:07:00.002+08:00

This movie's plot piqued my interest that I went ahead to watch it without understanding any of the dialogue in its trailer. Le Concert is a French film which sets in Russia, on a janitor of the historic Bolshoi Grand Theater - Andrei Filipov.

Andrei, once regarded the greatest conductor in Russia, was the Maestro of the Bolshoi orchestra thirty years ago. During one of the performances at the height of his career, he was fired and accused of being a traitor for refusing to abandon his Jewish musicians in the same orchestra. That performance was thus disrupted halfway and they never got to perform the Violin Concerto in D major by Tchaikovsky, the Russian composer whose works Andrei is so passionate about, again.

Now a cleaner there, he happened to be cleaning the Bolshoi's director's room when he saw a fax from France's prestigious Chatelet Theater, inviting the current orchestra to perform there. Seeing this as an opportunity to perform once again, he gathered his old musician friends who are now having menial jobs and attempt to pass them off as the Bolshoi orchestra.

Minus the part about the performance being disrupted and the naming of the musical piece, this is what I interpret from the synopsis and trailer. However, I was in for a surprise as this story delves much deeper. Beneath the surface of a madcap comedy portrayed by Andrei's friends is a surprising tragedy and truth that connects everyone of them together.

It helps if you possess some knowledge on the stereotypical representations of Russians and Jews to get the humor but I feel that it just takes an audience who's willing to read deeper into what's shown to 'feel' for the characters here. Even though the middle part of this movie starts to lose some vitality, the ending with le concert makes up for all that it lacks with a brilliant performance of the Tchaikovsky's piece which I feel is like an explosive burst of the whole orchestra's sentiments throughout the thirty years.

on being a sub-editor

2010-04-15T17:44:00.019+08:00

"The news is thrown at him in huge miscellaneous masses, which, but for his labours, would kill the reader stone-dead with mental indigestion. He has to cook this mass, having first trimmed it into reasonable proportions, keeping one eye on the probable accuracy of the facts as stated, another on the law of libel, another on various other considerations which crop up from time to time, such as the law relating to elections, and yet a fourth, which must be no less vigilant than the other three, upon the clock. Sub-editors, when I meet them, seem to have only two eyes just like other people; where they keep the other two I cannot say, but I know they must have them."

~ Edward Shanks (in Harold Evans, Essential English for Journalists, Editors and Writers)

This passage is a sharp observation on how a sub-editor, or a 'copyreader' in the US or a 'text editor' in Britain, work. I thought it presents the juggling of the various factors that comes with this job wonderfully in just a paragraph.

Edward Shanks, an English poet, writer, academic, literary critic and editor; describes the work of a sub-editor in its very essence like a true-blue journalist - short without missing any relevant or important points with a flair for witty, creative depictions.

shot by rosebullet

2010-04-03T01:55:00.015+08:00

Always on the lookout for alternative clothes' brands, my best friend and I discovered Rosebullet a few years ago. At that time, this Japanese label has just been launched in Singapore, the first in the South-East Asian region. I remembered how exhilarated both of us were at finding a label wherein its style is just so, well, our style of dressing - simple and sweet while playing with every details. Plus, we were delighted at not always having to buy from the dominant labels.

Unfortunately, the style of its collections gradually changed to a more flamboyant one, perhaps due to the departure of its Japanese Manager whom I believed was in charged with selecting which apparels and accessories to be brought in here. Hoping that I would finally see a revert back to the original style, I would always be disappointed after stepping out of Isetan, where it is located. Eventually, I stopped going there for my fashion fix.

That was the case till I happened to pass by there again last Saturday. I had the exact feeling when I first saw its clothes that it is like a re-bonding session. I bought a cute navy dress with mini gold studs all over it and received its catalog that showcases its spring/summer collection. I loved the whole package of its presentation - the summer-vacation theme, the choice of colors, and the laid-back style of the clothes - that best encapsulates these two seasons:

a handbag affair

2010-03-12T00:50:00.008+08:00

Today's lecture was about buyer behavior and when my lecturer explains the buyer decision process, I know exactly what he is talking about.

The Buyer Decision Process:

1st stage - Need Recognition:
My only versatile (in terms of style and function) has gave up on me with four holes which were once fastened with rivets. Refusing to give up on it, I went to a few repair stores to get it fixed but they don't just don't have the same rivets as those on my handbag. They don't even have those in similar colors. Sigh... So I've been carrying my mom's handbag but I still have to get one for myself.

Verdict: I need a handbag.

2nd stage - Information Search:
This handbag affair has me absorbed in looking at photographs (zoom in, top view, back view) of one tote bag after another for a week now. That explains the dark circles around my eyes. I think I'm now more than ever qualified to join the panda-look-alike club.

3rd stage: Evaluation of Alternatives:
But how am I going to chose one that I really like and is suitable for me without bombing on my wallet? That needs a precise filter system.

So hopefully, the fourth stage of purchase decision arrives soon and that the fifth stage of postpurchase behavior will be a positive one unlike the negative sentiment I felt for my previous handbag that doesn't last.

Seriously, why do academics love to put labels on every single minuscule commonsensical stuff?

happy chinese new year

2010-02-14T20:32:00.003+08:00

Have a roaring Tiger year filled with happiness, good health and great fortune! Happy Chinese New Year!

I Am

2010-02-08T00:55:00.002+08:00

I am ...
A woman
With a full heart, hidden
Somewhere in an empty room ...
With eyes not quite of autumn's gold, and yet
Neither all of summer's green;
I wonder ...
If love is a tale made for children --
A granting of sweet dreams in their innocence --
A honey-coating to help their throats
Choke down the bitter draught ...
I hear ...
A voice that whispers warnings, half-formed,
Bodiless as hope, until I swear I cannot draw
Another breath unless this spectre be unmasked,
His lies mangled ‘neath my righteous tread;
I see ...
A woman, proud, uncompromising,
Diaphanous as air -- less, even, than the tears
That fall in desolation about her weary feet,
Salt poison pooled upon the withered ground ...
I want ...
A measure of quietude, a certain silence,
The echo of alone which heals me of dreaming,
The nothing that stills the wanting,
The numb, the cold that laughs at pain;
I am
A woman,
hidden ...

I pretend ...
That I can live forever -- that Time
Has no puissance but that which I afford Him --
And so, I can wait, I can be happy tomorrow,
Sleep is for the dead; but its ghosts haunt my waking ...
I feel ...
Too much -- too deeply to be directionless,
Too real for imagining, and yet the familiar eyes
Hold nothing of recognition -- only my reflection --
A meeting of shadows in sunlit glass;
I touch ...
The downy wings of hope, in wonder,
In reverence, in need, in hunger;
Alas, it burns my fingers as a flame,
A sacrilege, self-defined ...
I worry ...
That I am alone; that in my longing
I have forsaken all -- but oh, what reward,
What smile divine should light the path to freedom --
And how can I but heed the siren's call?
I cry ...
For having too much, for fear of bursting,
And then, when by the pouring of my soul
I lie, a vessel emptied, I cry again
For what was had, and lost;
I am
A woman,
empty ...

I understand
That life is what you make it,
That sometimes, the coat of many colors
That marks your triumphs brightly, blends only
To loneliest of grey ...
I say
That we are made by life, shaped,
Broken, perhaps -- unmade and voided --
But always, the core of us remains, waiting
With only faith, with trust, to be reborn;
I dream
Of bluest waters, reaching
With unnatural hands toward the faded sky,
Of dolphins that wander in seas without limits,
Carrying me water-breathing past corals and clouds ...
I try ...
To lead by example, knowing
That merely the telling holds no power;
A gift of giving is merely a day, while
A gift of knowing spans forever;
I hope ...
That my darkness holds you gently,
That pain is halved by sharing, that feeling
Wields nothing past the words it summons,
Except that it touch you with only healing ...
I am
A woman,
only.

~Skyfyre

CNY oh CNY

2010-02-04T23:56:00.005+08:00

Yay! Finally a break!

Even though it's a break from school and not from work (and a very short one too), I'm pretty hyped up knowing that Chinese New Year (CNY) is just around the corner! I'm probably the only one who's that excited for CNY as it's the only time in the year where I get to have the whole family, including both of my sisters' (as they're married), get together and spend some quality time.

Haha I'm in such good mood anticipating that the exhaustion I just accumulated juggling assignments and work for several months wear off when I think of what to decorate my house with for this upcoming festivities. I've bought two gigantic yellow pineapples (a symbol for good fortune and luck) and a lovely 福 (which means the same thing as the pineapple), in which the font is designed with pink and red peonies in cardboard.

I happened to drive past a store selling CNY decors on my way to school when this huge yellow pineapple hanging between two smaller red pineapples caught my eye. I couldn't get the picture of it off my mind for some reason and as I'm always in a rush to school, I didn't stop and purchase them. I was so fixated on them that I told Kevin (my bf) that I must get them.

Thinking they are easily available, I looked for them at similar stores when I passed by them on foot but all of them don't carry this specific pineapple. Fellow Chinese must be thinking 'why' right? That's because the one I eyed on is the largest one - 45 inches - as compared to the ''normal' size of about 20 inches. That supposedly enormous one just seemed like the right size to me that I refused to buy any of biggest ones (30 inches) available there.

When I finally went to that store and purchase them, I was (and still is) elated. Walking away with the pair of $38 pineapples, I was grinning from from ear to ear. Once I reached home, Kevin helped me to set up and stapled them as they were in the initial flattened state.

The moment he helped me hung them up, I couldn't help laughing to myself. They're really huge! Way too big to be hung at the sides of my front door! Kevin was like, 'don't look at me, I told you it's going to be really huge, you're the one who's bent on getting it in this size'. What if my three mischievous little nephew and nieces pull them down?!

As my camera is not working anymore and I'm still contemplating on whether I should splurge on one, I can't upload any photographs on them at the moment. I'll try to upload them soon! Meanwhile, I hope that all the Chinese have as much fun and enjoyment as me preparing for CNY!

頑張ります!

2010-01-16T22:48:00.005+08:00

Came across this quote that I like very much:

"The quality of your life depends less on what you are doing with your body, and more on what you are doing with your time and spirit. Keep your soul nourished and everything else will fall into place."

Even though my circumstances resulted in me having a job I don't like, I do feel alive and rejuvenated whenever I'm studying. These steps I'm taking may seem like baby steps, but the time and the joy of working on my chosen field of interest in university constantly remind me that I have to keep moving on to my goal regardless of the odds.

頑張ります! (I'll try my best!)

the start of something wonderful

2010-01-04T01:57:00.016+08:00

The break of dawn illuminates shades of orange hues across the horizon, signifying the arrival of a brand new day.

Since life is a short-lived luxury that is engulfed in a cycle of light and darkness, let this marks the start of something wonderful that's here to stay.

~A.W.

Happy New Year everyone!
May you and your loved ones be blessed with joy, good health and fortune throughout 2010!

a simple Thanks

2009-12-29T00:35:00.007+08:00

It has been a whirlwind-kind of ride for the past few weeks. I'm grateful for those who helped me get through it.

Thanks to a few of my classmates and friends (especially "pink and baby blue juniors") for being so understanding about the difficulties I have juggling work and studies. You have no idea how much support both of you have given me since I started this course and I really appreciate it.

More importantly, thanks to my dear for enduring all the irrational and unreasonable behavior I have been having towards you everyday. Instead of escaping from me, my whole load of burdens, and my appalling mood swings; you stayed beside me throughout it all.

Thank you.

x'mas 2009

2009-12-12T16:26:00.008+08:00

It's that time of year again. Spectacular lighting, gifts, parties and the reappearance of the grand conical-shaped trees decorated with all things sparkly and colorful.

Here in this tiny tropical red dot on the globe that encompass several religions and ethnicity, it seems that the Christmas season can only be felt in town because of the holidays' decorations.

You'd think that since it's the Christmas season and December, the weather might be a little cooler even though we don't have the four seasons here(such as snow).

Not at all. The weather lately has been insane, clocking up to 35 degrees Celsius. We've been fixated with denotations of winter wear and freezing weather associated with 'Christmas' that seeing the majority of the people wearing shorts and flip-flops(thongs) somehow doesn't add to the already diminishing holiday ambiance.

Still, I've got to say that the holidays' decorations during Christmas is usually the grandest (maybe due to the competition among shopping malls on who has the best decor) and it's one of those times in the year that I get to receive gifts!

My schedule is fully packed and it's to be an extremely hectic month for me. But that is not going to stop me from immersing in this jovial season. Hope you are able to take a break from your daily chaos and enjoy yourself!

Here are some old school clips of Peanuts about Christmas I hope you will enjoy:

gone

2009-11-07T01:42:00.008+08:00

Gone, gone are those friends
in which naught replaces close in its definition.

Gone, gone are those essential conversations
that forms the important part of relationships in life.

Gone, gone are those flickers of happiness
no matter how ethereal they may be.

Gone, gone are those moments
never to be re-captured ever again.

Gone, gone are those chances
when you could have changed those bad decisions then.

Gone, gone are those carefree days
where together with your childhood, your youth,
and all the sunshine and laughter,
become past memories you long for now.

Gone, gone are those vibrant colors of life,
that fade away along with your very own existence

~ A.W.

10 telling signs that I'm stressed

2009-11-02T15:22:00.008+08:00

Laugh awkwardly
Smile, frown, smile frown (you get the point)
Binge on potato chips and Nutella hazelnut spread
Indulge in lots of chili padi (chili pepper)
Behaving like a true-blue insomniac, complete with no. 3 & 4 in the wee hours of the morning
Hairstyle that looks like I just got off the bed
Run while listening to metal,rock music or just Alanis Morissette's songs
Pile up stacks of research materials on my bedroom floor
Ordering overly-sweet coffee like toffee nut latte when all I want is a cup of cappuccino
Singing at the top of my voice when I drive alone

Seriously, I really need to get that punching bag soon...

Personal Life by Tokyo Jihen

2009-10-30T23:31:00.005+08:00

東京事変 - 私生活
Uploaded by utadalove. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

I'm wasting oxygen, seas, gasoline, and a lot of kindnesses.
I'm working for life and eating up the city.
I hope that the mechanism of your left cheek doesn't fall into disorder when you smile.

To the fair wind here, please blow for me.
Things behind me are just memories.
When I'm able to take in the opposing wind, I'll finally be renewed.

I'm wasting sunsets, Autumns, and a few encounters.
I keep on going back and forth, to butter up people/the times/the age.
I must seem miserable and pathetic in your eyes.

Compass, now, please show me where I am and point to the right direction.
Even if I have to memorize the existing maps, I'll definitely head towards you.

I want to stay gently close to you when you are feeling alright.
How long is there for me to live? Please don't go away.
Let me catch up with you. Please wait a little while more.
You're living your life, further and further away from me.
This makes up how I lead my life.

The Hurt Locker

2009-10-21T00:04:00.011+08:00

In the war-torn Iraq of 2004, terrorism is rife. Bombs can be found anywhere, even in the most inconspicuous plastic bags at the roadside amidst the rubble of what might once had been a wall at the nearby building.

In The Hurt Locker, we see the Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD) unit of the US Army is tasked with the perilous mission of defusing these bombs in this hostile landscape.

I may give the idea that I know a lot about this film before I watched it, but I don't. I usually 'do my homework' on movies before I choose to catch them, but in this case, I watched it without knowing anything except a vague description of "many explosions" from my bf.

Which is why it came as a pleasant surprise for me to watch this fabulous movie.

"Real and raw" is what I would describe this dramatization of urban warfare. I love how cinematographer Barry Ackroyd seizes your utmost attention (& panic for me) as he seamlessly weaves the critical scenes into one great film. By capturing both the macro and micro angles, he not only shows tension, but emphasizes on it while adding the 'real' element in it.

Director Kathryn Bigelow does a great job at depicting the insecurity and life of the three soldiers in the Bravo company. This documentary-like film portrays how their daily missions there is like a huge gamble they make on their lives well everyday by just carrying on with their tasks.

This gripping movie has won me over with its brilliant cinematography in fifteen minutes. 116 minutes later, I walked out of the cinema as a fan.

opening of Docs' clinic for the individualistic dresser

2009-09-26T00:58:00.020+08:00

September 25 is the grand opening of Dr. Martens concept store in Orchard Central. The theme of this boutique is based on UK, where Docs launched its first series of the iconic 1460 eight-eyelet boots. The name '1460' simply derives from the date it is launched - April Fool's Day 1960.

I love how the spacious store gives off a cozy vibe, like a celebrity without airs. I could read the books on DM's history and skinheads culture (that is Docs' first-ever symbol of subculture), or flip through the 'lookbook' for customers to read and get ideas on how to match with your Dr. Martens' boots while resting on the big burgundy Victorian-styled leather sofas at the center.

If you're interested in DM boots, here's its blog on the latest news in Singapore.

I was too occupied at the official launch there, but I did managed to take some photos (minus the crowd of media friends and buyers ;p):

This is a table that functions like a trailer at a cinema. It gives you a 'sneak preview on the next upcoming new arrivals that have not reached Singapore yet.

I took this pic a week ago. This is a Vespa scooter that is placed on the window display here. It's designed by local designer Lee Wei Chong, along with the pair of Docs' boots next to it.

With the staff from the left - Honglim, Jackson, me and Samantha.

With the gorgeous models who did a runway for the launch. Jackson was laughing his head off when he noticed the height gap between me and them when he took this photo.

This is the eye-catching wallpaper that many love. It is on the walls behind the cashier, next to a British flag. And the plastic bag that's like a mini replica of it:
Look closely... Spot a circled boot? That's one of my boots heez.. And here's the actual one:This is the 'rock star' that I wore to the opening yesterday. Her real name? 'Stella'.

photos update

2009-09-14T00:42:00.027+08:00

I'm finally free after a period of endless workload and school work. Here are the photos for these 2 weeks.

Right after exam:

The groggy-eyed gang binging on hot Thai food to relieve the stress accumulated after exam. I had my favorite tom yam soup with glass noodles.

Kenneth's and my birthday cake

This is Kenneth's indulging in his Udder's Bailey's ice-cream. Still can't believe this guy has the exact birthdate as me

From left to right: Daniel, Rosslyn & Joyce. Daniel and Ross are the sweet ones who bought the cake for us. Thanks!

With my closest girlfriends (Just a simple get-together can cause me to be this happy):

Look at how work has done to our face! We just got off work and we look like this already! Haggard level - 3/5

Only Val (the one in black) exudes radiance. Never doubt the magical confidence and radiance that a lady can have when she's getting married ;)

Birthday:

@ Satsuma Shochu Dining Bar. Kevin brought me here 'coz he knows how much I love Japanese cuisine and sakura :)

Enjoying the ambiance... the sake, and the food. Here're some of them:

Scallop with soya milk in claypot

Grilled rice balls

My mini birthday cake with sweet candied potatoes

~Thanks dear!~

Ice-cream version of strawberry shortcake. See the packs of Vitasoy (soya milk) at the corner? Everyone finished it before I could even drink it ;(

Kevin's birthday:

The cake I bought for him - Raspberry cheesecake with almonds

Disney Princesses ice-cream cake from his buddies

fashion-savvy-not

2009-09-10T00:13:00.004+08:00

One thing's for sure. I'm not cut out to be a fashion writer. This belief is reinforced recently when I chose to write a feature article for a fashion magazine. I read more news magazines than fashion magazines, so even if I have an interest in dress styles (not necessarily fashion as I don't follow fads), I don't possess any percentage of the fashion jargon nor the ability to describe a particular style in words.

Sure, I can always improve by reading and writing more of these articles. However, I don't have the same excitement when I put my thoughts into picturing or manually matching clothes with accessories and shoes as putting them into words. Maybe that's because I'm struggling to find the 'right words' - the kind of description and phrases that fashion writers love to use - for it. And to think I was contemplating on interning for one of the fashion magazines just a few months back as I thought it will be a good start.

Why, you may ask. Well, firstly, I have an interest in styling; second, I thought it will be easier to write on something you have an interest in. Besides, the word-count for fashion articles are much lower than other types of publications (in S'pore, fashion mags like Style consists of 500 - 1000-word articles).

Wrong. Ha ha. I practically feel like I was digging my grave the whole time during the whole process of researching, interviewing, compiling, and writing. Why couldn't I chose something I'm more well-versed in, like politics or community work, I lamented to my classmate one day. And my lovely friend just can't help but add on that since I have a petite frame, "it'll be quite an easy feat to finish digging the space for my grave."

Gee... Thankyouverymuch.

a dedication to the now 25-year-old me

2009-08-25T00:14:00.006+08:00

Some songs have become part of my life. It can be a piece of memory embedded in it. A source of inspiration or determination to just do your best. Or a companion that changes along with your mood.

"If we hold on together" by Diana Ross and Utada Hikaru's "First Love" remind me of how me and my girlfriends used to sing them in my secondary school days. "Soar" by Christina Aguilera and Martina McBride's "Anyway" never fails to put me on the right track from procrastination or the point of giving up. (The latter song reminds me of Shin Na (my Feb '09 archive) too.)

For more than five years, I have a habit of listening to "かわらないこと～since 1976～" (Things That Don't Change) by Kokia on my birthdays. I first saw it on MTV and was mesmerized by its lyrics and the feelings that seem to exude from Kokia's singing ever since. Once again, I clicked on this song again subconsciously 34 minutes into my birth date.

Everyone has his/her own interpretations of a song and its lyrics. To me, this track is about gratitude for the little things that remain unchanged in life such as family's love, that makes you want to do your best in everything. And most importantly, to always be myself.

goodbye grandaunt

2009-08-10T23:48:00.005+08:00

To me, she's more like my grandmother than my actual one who had passed away too soon. She loved chocolates, napping on her old armchair, our visits, and watching national day parades on television every year. Funny how she passed away in the midst of this year's parade.
Goodbye grandaunt, may you rest in peace. Going to miss you...

for my dear

2009-08-08T00:40:00.010+08:00

Alanis Morissette |MTV Music

Thank you for still loving me. Happy anniversary on the 24th.

lazy days

2009-08-03T01:45:00.031+08:00

6 min 39 sec. That's the length of a total eclipse on July 22 that blanketed parts of Asia in darkness. It's also the day I went on a cruise. It was pitch black out on the South China Sea at night. I could not even tell if the ship was moving at all if I had not heard and seen the waves splashing by right beneath it.

The beautiful color tones of Redang's ocean and the feel of its fine, sun-soaked sand on my feet; the insanely strong wind that caught me off guard on top of the deck; the refreshing cool wind that perked me up when I woke up on the balcony; the luxury of a slow lazy pace that you can afford only on a relaxing vacation; having the time to stop, admire and absorb the scenery into your mind; watching the sunset, all with a loved one - I love it all.

Night time exploring

Redang Island, Malaysia

Back on board

Views from my room's balcony

this panda's taking a break

2009-07-21T23:56:00.004+08:00

I'm going on a short trip on a cruise tomorrow! So glad to leave behind the whole load of work, school and other stuffs, even if it's for a temporary basis.

Oh my 30" luggage, where are you? (horror?!) Ha ha, even though I'm a typical vain-pot, I'm definitely not going to carry a bag that I can smuggle myself in for a three-day trip :p (even though I'm tempted to do that...) It's time to pack!

top 10 fav animes

2009-07-06T01:46:00.004+08:00

Yes, I love watching Japanese animations despite the impression I give to people in person. Here's a list of my all-time favorites:

Bartender- it is one of the rare animes that calms you down.
Slam Dunk - a classic that all (locally) who plays basketball know about.
Liar Game - clever and unique storyline about outsmarting others
One Piece - you can never predict what comes next in this insanely long-running but exciting anime
Skip Beat - all animes are based on mangas (comics). They are categorized as shounen (boys) and shoujo (girls) mangas. I usually prefer shounen to shoujo mangas, but this shoujo manga has me addicted. It is about a girl's accidental step into the show business.
Monster - gripping storyline about a skilled surgeon being framed for murder.
Hikaru no Go - about the world of Go (a strategic board game). For those who are interested, I would recommend going straight to reading the manga instead as the drawings and plot are more detailed.
The FullMetal Alchemist - a story about alchemy set in the era of the European Industrial Revolution.
Claymore - Similar to the function of a weapon of a claymore sword, female warriors who are half-human, half-demon are called a Claymore. These soldiers void of emotions are tasked with killing the demons to protect human race.
Initial D - about car-racing on hills. Lots and lots of drifts in here.

these 2 weeks

2009-07-01T00:54:00.006+08:00

I'm in the midst of these two weeks that are packed with lessons everyday and looming deadlines for projects and test.

I was worrying about them, how to manage my time for school, work and helping out my parents; and whether I'll be able to do well for all of them.

Then I got fed-up of worrying. What the heck, just live through it.

"Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning."
~ Winston Churchill

R.I.P. MJ

2009-06-28T01:01:00.004+08:00

It's sad that people tend to remember or recognize a person for his good attributes only after he died - think how happy he would have been if he knew. I hope that we all remember him as the indisputable "King of Pop" and all the fantastic songs and performances he left behind in our heart.

Rest in peace, Michael Jackson.

10 places I want to visit

2009-06-15T15:26:00.029+08:00

With recession and yet another global virus casting a gloomy dark cloud upon us all, it's no wonder that magazines are dishing out articles on destressing tips.

While having my hair done, I came across this article from one of the magazines in the salon about what you can do to unwind yourself.

In this UK-edition of Marie Claire, a writer suggested that we could come up with a list of 10 destinations we would like to go.
Here's mine (not in order of preference):

1) Palais de I'Equilibre, Neuchatel, Switzerland 2) Northern Lights, Alaska 3) Mount Roy, N.Z. 4) Peruvians

Peru: For those archeology-lovers and explorers-at-heart, who could resist not wanting to get lost in the mysterious and rugged beauty of the Sacred Valley of the Inca (there is a village that is constantly occupied for over 500 years!); the vibrant cultures of the indigenous; and part of the majestic Andes mountain?
New Zealand: In the beginning of its tourism commercial: "...Welcome. To the youngest country on earth..." Metaphorically true. Natural beauty, mesmerizing glaciers, Mount Cook, Bay of Islands... Need I say more?
Japan: Getting your feet sunk in the snow-capped mountains and indulging in hot springs in Hokkaido + filling your desire for incredibly fresh seafood in the Shinkansen (bullet-train) + shrines-divine in Kyoto + youth culture and trendspotting from Harajuku to Shibuya in Tokyo = my kind of holiday :p
Alaska, U.S.: Other than the adventurous activities, the one I want to do most over there is to witness the phenomenal Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights).
Tibet: Despite its political conflict with China, one can never ignore Tibet's rich cultural heritage and the Tibetans' deep faith in their religion. Those are what I'm drawn to, plus the expansive rugged mountain terrains and the world's largest canyon. Not forgetting Mt. Everest too, though I'm definitely not up to the task of conquering it, unlike the commendable group of Singapore girls.
Rome, Italy: I would love to immerse in the historical architectural sites in which I was in awe with as a child when I read stories about the Roman empire.
France: Eat, learn (Lourve Museum), and experience (exploring Lyon or walking down the vineyards to the hidden cafe down the alley on the cobblestoned street sounds nice to me).
Scotland: Castles and highlands galore!
England: It's a place where I get creative with my dressing without getting stares on the street! Cities I'm dying to visit - London, Bristol, Manchester, Nottingham and York.
Australia: I want to go there again!

mood = stormy

2009-06-08T01:20:00.004+08:00

Which is worse: Not knowing what you want in life and spend your days confused, or knowing exactly what you want in life and everything just does not fall in place no matter how hard you try?

Been feeling troubled by the same old problems for several years, to the extent they are like old 'friends' likened to wounds now. These are the hidden wounds that everyone has, at least one, depending on one's own definition of 'problem'.

Even the personal mantra of 'putting on your best mood, to face the worst situations', a literal translation of my favorite mandarin saying, have overstretched my limits of optimism.

It is pretty frustrating and depressing to find that no matter how hard one tries to make things even a least bit better continuously for such a long time, regardless of how optimistic one tries to be despite carrying a heavy heart; there is bound to be the final straw that marks the point of giving up.

tech versus me

2009-05-20T00:49:00.004+08:00

The earphones are defective again. My third one this year. Since last year, I've changed a total of seven earphones. I've tried earphones from various labels, but all of them just gave up on me somehow at the end of the few months I had used them. Everyone seems to have the same old one with them that lasts as long as their iPod, all except me.

It's been almost two weeks since the 'demise' of my last pair of earphones, with its left side exposing two mini red wires and a sticker labeled 'HQ 1814'. I'm so fed-up that I'm temporarily boycotting earphones for now.

Which is why my iTouch is pretty lonely these days. I still carry it along in my bag out of habit, but I didn't touch it at all. I used it as a device to read the ibooks, play games, organize my schedule and listen to music. And even though I could still use it for most of its functions, I didn't bother to charge it. It just doesn't feel the same without the earphones.

That leads to the fact that I repel technology. While most people would have no difficulties sending files via email from their mobile phones, I need to find different positions for my mobile phone to gather the strongest signal in order to send. For all the attempts at it, I succeed only once. After close to two hours of sheer stubborn determination. And I realized only after sending that I could actually use its memory card to upload the files.

Just the other day, I nearly call my Internet Service Provider to tell them about what I think of their poor-quality modem. I had switched everything on as usual, and when I clicked my Mozilla Internet icon, this notification of disconnected server popped up.

Thinking that I might have missed some steps, I switched everything off and on again. Same thing happened. So I tried every single thing just to get connected. And you might have already guessed it, all to no avail. I called my boyfriend for help. Being a tech-geek himself, he patiently go through all the precise steps to check and repair it. I, on the other line, was going to erupt soon.

I was exhausted from working the whole day till 11 pm.; the suppliers and customers were not exactly nice to me; and the last thing I needed was a faulty Internet connection, especially one that still refused to work after you spent two long hours to repair it.

And nothing changed after going through these measures. That was the last straw. I started crying and venting it out on my unsuspecting boyfriend. When I tried to go online the next day, everything worked just fine, as if all the troubles I went through the night before didn't exist.

Know what I mean? I hate technology, I repel technology, and yet I can't live without technology. I used to think that unlike the Digital Natives that most of you probably are, I'm one of those rare few cavemen who can live free from technology without a hitch. Ha ha fat chance. I had already caused all hell to break loose on that night I could not use the Internet.

daily communication

2009-05-18T15:30:00.009+08:00

This is an extract from the online newsletter from local news radio 938Live:

The poet Carl Sanburg once said, "I never made a mistake in grammar but one in my life and as soon as I done it I seen it." For some, writing is an act of faith and a matter of spontaneous expression, the rules for which have been imbibed over years of reading good models of writing. For others, however, giving a piece of writing robust flesh requires mastery of grammar and control of vocabulary as the backbone for ideas.

Of the pitfalls in writing is the misuse of lexical items. Often the confusion arises because of mispronunciation. How often have we seen someone spell "deadline" as "dateline" for that reason? Alternatively, there are some who use words in the wrong context. For example, "spoilt" can be used for a watch but not for an escalator. We normally say that the escalator is "out of order" or that it has "malfunctioned". Similarly, you cannot "borrow" a phone; instead you can "use" someone's phone. Likewise, you take your child out for the weekend but not "bring" him out.

There are occasions when genuine errors arise because of translation from one language to another. I have often heard people use "outlook" when they wish to refer to someone's appearance. "Outlook" on the other hand is used to refer to prospect as in this sentence, "The outlook is gloomy." Some people who are doing a little clearing up say that they are packing their desks. Don't get me wrong. These people are not intending to move to another country. What they mean to say is they are tidying up. I suspect that "pack" is again a transliteration.

Haters of language may think of it as a system of pitfalls to trip them up but in the end, good grammar and vocabulary aid logical understanding.

~ by Asha Kumaran , Division of Communication & Media Management, TP

random photos taken during the past 2 weeks

2009-05-15T02:47:00.000+08:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

flu mask fashions

2009-05-03T02:38:00.008+08:00

As global panic arises with measures undertaken by governments to contain or prevent H1N1, better known as the swine flu, from spreading into their country, many concerned citizens are spotted wearing masks.

Not only them, models were seen strutting down the catwalk wearing designed masks in the recent Fashion Festival in Sydney. Reuters captures the different masks worn by people in several countries in a slideshow.

For those wanting to know what this disease is about, The New York Times keeps track of the latest developments on it.

things I can do without

2009-05-01T23:15:00.005+08:00

1. Things I bought yesterday going on sale today. Especially costly items.

2. Customers who have half of their family members on the store on standby two doors away comparing the prices on two products of different brands. It's irritating enough that you need to compare products from different labels right in front of me, so please don't add on to my nerves the cold shoulder you give me when I talk to you; and ask me to bring down so many items and just leave like that. Please think of the sincere sales person who's trying his/her best in providing the best service to you before you start to treat them that way. They're not mimes or your slaves.

3. Suppliers who deliver stocks that you didn't order and give you a frown and bad attitude when you had them returned. Enough said.

4. Laundry services that ruined my clothes. They're that precious to me to spend the money to have them cleaned by you, so if you or your staff don't know how to handle them well, let me know beforehand thankyouverymuch.

5. Results that are not released when they were supposed to months earlier. Three units overdue. Look, I've done my bloody best, so it'll be nice if you can at least let me know my results at the promised date?

6. Blisters from new shoes.

7. Boyfriend who's self-absorbed in his own little world that he opts for entertainment and not communicating with you despite not seeing each other for some time.

8. Commuters who talk so loudly on the phone that you can't hear yourself.

9. People who don't get back to you promptly when you called or smsed them.

10. Crazy unstable Internet connection.

Phew. There, I got it all off my chest.

@ the Esplanade

2009-04-30T04:31:00.009+08:00

CATS:
I feel that there was something lacking to make it really good, like the vague character development of Grizabella. She’s ultimately the ‘chosen one’, and not much has been depicted here except for her trademark song 'Memory'. I do like the portrayal of Growltiger/Asparagus/Gus as it is more thorough. To be fair however, the focus here is ultimately the Jellicle cats, unlike the focal character development of the main protagonist of the Empress Dowager in the play “Forbidden City: Portrait of an Empress” or Kim in "Miss Saigon". It'll be best if you read the entire synopsis and characters (especially their wacky names) before you watch CATS performance.

Overall, it has been an enjoyable experience watching the cast being 'meow-like' - from the smoothing of their 'fur' with and licking of their 'paws'; and laughing at the Elvis-like persona of Rum Tum Tugger as well as the funny antics of Gus and Griddlebone.

Spectacular art-piece always fill the Esplanade's atrium. This is the latest one called "You shine like gold in the air of summer" by Simponi from Indonesia. It has been quite awhile since I enjoyed a walk by the river behind the E. with K. It was a quite a perfect timing as it was not crowded like it always seems to be and the place is filled with a wave of serenity that I didn't sense before.

CATS

2009-04-30T04:07:00.012+08:00

This was placed on the armrest of my seat in the theater.

AUDIENCE SURVEY

Country of residence:

· Singapore (Local resident)

o Singapore (Expatriate/ Foreign student)

o Other country: (Please specify)_______

1. When did you first hear about CATS?

o 6 months to a year ago

· 3 to 6 months ago

o 1 to 3 months ago

o Less than a month ago

2. How did you find out about CATS? (You may tick more than one option)

o TV commercials

o Radio commercials

o Collateral Materials

o Banners

o Internet

o Newspaper advertisements

o Magazine advertisements

· Festival brochures and leaflets

o Newspaper articles

· Colleagues, friends & relatives

o Others (Please specify):________

3. What are your regular sources of information for arts events in Singapore? (Tick as many as applicable)

o Local newspapers

o Direct mailers

· Event brochures

· Word-of-mouth

· Colleagues/friends

o Radio:__________

o TV:____________

o Travel fairs

· Internet (Please specify website address) sistic.com.sg

o International newspapers (Please specify)_________

· Magazines (Please specify) Arts Beat, I.S.

4. Where did you purchase your tickets for this show?

o SISTIC hotline

o SISTIC Website

· SISTIC authorized agents [Wisma Atria @ Orchard]

o Travel Agents

o Others (Pls specify):__________________________

5. What ticket prices did you buy? $143 How many? 2

6. When did you buy your tickets?

o Less than 7 days before the performance

o 1 to 4 weeks before

· More than 4 weeks before

7. What are the factors that influence you to purchase a ticket for a show?

o Affordability

· Reputation of the show

· Interest in a specific production

o Media review

o Persuasion by colleagues & friends

o Word-of-mouth

8. How would you rate the overall standard of this production?

o Excellent

· Good

o Fair

o Poor

9. Which of the following arts events did you attend in the past 12 months?

o Theatre

o Musical

o Opera

o Dance

o Classical concert

o Rock/Pop concert

· Arts Festival

· Arts fair/arts auction

10. Which of the following musicals would you go and see?

· Aida

· Chicago

· Dirty Dancing

o Fiddler on the Roof

· Evita

o Miss Saigon [watched it several years ago]

· Les Misérables

o Jekyll and Hyde

· Jesus Christ Superstar

o Wicked

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And this is what I filled in after the performance at home..

short updates

2009-04-26T01:11:00.005+08:00

Countdown to CATS: 17 hours 33 minutes!
Can't wait to catch The Soloist, a film based on a true story. Click here to go to its official site.
The results for tuberculosis tests are out. They're negative :)

Maureen Dowd

2009-04-24T13:48:00.007+08:00

Maureen Dowd has gone a long way from being a journalist who dished out articles only to face the prospect of being 'cut off' due to limited space in Time at a time where female reporters were not highly regarded.

Now more than 20 years later, this journalist-turned-columnist whom Tom Plate described as "an exceptional talent", writes the Op-ed page for The New York Times. Whether she's the "villain of journalism" as labeled by her critics or a hard-hitting capable reporter? You judge for yourself.

I personally love this opinion piece titled 'Dinosaur at the Gate" written by her. You may say that the tone is rather subjective by journalism standards, but what's the use of an opinion article when everything sounds so neutral like a hard-news piece?
Read about it at here.

worrying

2009-04-23T00:47:00.006+08:00

My sister's father-in-law was recently diagnosed with tuberculosis. It was a relief that it's still in the first stage, but how can one truly be relieved when it's still a case of having a serious illness?

As her in-laws live with her, along with her two young kids - Chloe, 1 and Brandon, 3, she is worried about everyone in the family, especially since it is a contagious.

I heard that the nurse there told her it will be extra hard if a child suffers from it, as it will spread from the lungs to as far as the brain. The whole family went for a check-up today and the results will only be out on Saturday.

Worry.

It's hard not to worry. The more one cares about someone, the more she/he will worry. And I'm a constant worrying machine, one that churns out one worry about this problem to the next worry about another problem.

I'm worried about them. I worry about my parents' state of health. My brother who basically hates studying and lives in his own world. K. and my friends' individual problems. Financial burdens. My own baggage inclusive of other crazy difficulties I encountered.

It's frustrating how you can be so helpless at many problems that all you can do is worry. I can only try my best to do the little things that might make them better.

going gaga over mustangs

2009-04-19T23:23:00.016+08:00

Let's face it. Everyone has at least one dream car. I myself have, shamelessly, two dream cars, all of which are the icons of the American muscle.

No. 1 - the Shelby Cobra Snake GT500 '08 edition, complete with 725 horsepower (Woo Hoo!).

Read about it here.

Above: Black stripes over the red base is gorgeous, the color combination in Kelly's MV above is whistle-blowing too.
Bottom: I'm crazy over this bumblebee's color combination as well

No. 2 - the vintage 1967 Shelby GT350 in black with white cobra stripes. Classic!

It's a pity Singapore does not allow these cars to be sold here, which is why I can only look at its pictures. Not that I can afford them now though, that is why they're my 'dream' cars!

uniqlo's Jap CM

2009-04-15T01:09:00.003+08:00

Juri (shorter hair) & Meisa (long hair) look real cute in this UNIQLO commercial. I have not stepped into the newly-opened outlet here in Tampines One. Will I be able to play with the rows of neatly-folded clothes over there too? :p

I'm glad I became a bookworm - Part II

2009-04-09T01:14:00.007+08:00

Recently, I came across this poem in which I told myself a long time ago, that if I ever have any children in the future, I will read and enforce the values and meanings of it to them. For so many years, I had forgotten about it until I rediscovered it once again in another form of medium.

Many years back when I was in primary school, my house was swarmed from years of subscribing to Readers' Digest. Even after my dad stopped the subscription and no one seemed to read them anymore, I was set on keeping all four-years' worth of them.

Maybe it was because I felt that it would be such waste to throw them away just like that. Maybe they had seemed so easy to read for a small girl who just learned to love to read. Whichever it was, I practically plowed through them all and came across this article about Rudyard Kipling.

It would seem like a short profile on this brilliant British writer now, as compared to my perception of it from reading it then. The journalist who wrote this piece talked about Kipling's works and focused on the death of his son, John Kipling, who died before him in the war. He or she (I can't remember) managed to depict John as a boy who was the pride and joy of his father to the brave young man he turned out to be in such a moving way that I was tearing by the time I finished the article.

However, the one climatic part which caused me to break down completely is this poem by Kipling, inserted at the back of the article. Even though he wrote it before John's death, the timeliness of reading it after completing the story brought another tidal wave-like of emotions swept inside me.

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

In a funny twist of thoughts now, I feel that I myself as an adult now, should look up to this instead of what I had thought when I was a child. Yes, it may seem tacky or outdated for one to do that.

But, in this world where many of the good of the past are forgotten and we are so engrossed and disillusioned with what we see on the surface now, this is one of the timeless 'good' that we can always remember and savor, along with your very own classics.

Hope you know or realize them by now, be it the taste of the rice your deceased grandmother used to cook for you; or the look of your loved one's face when he/she smiles at you.

I'm glad I became a bookworm - Part I

2009-04-09T00:18:00.013+08:00

My first storybook was the 3-in-1 compilation of Enid Blyton's Famous Five. I remember the scenario of how I got this book that's heavier than my dictionary then. I was in a bookstore with my dad, who was looking for some stationery.

I was six, the age when most children love to follow wherever their parents go; as well as a regular girl (ok, maybe a hyperactive one) who loves to play hopscotch, five-stones, 'catching' with my cousins, and watch cartoons instead of read.

Ten minutes since I stepped into the bookstore, my attention span wavered. I looked around and spotted the section where all the storybooks for my age were placed and walked away from my dad towards it. One of the books placed on the 'Top-sellers' bookrack was this really thick and heavy-looking book that looked more like a dictionary than a storybook. Thanks to the illustrations on the cover, I could identify it just as what it is.

I hurried over to my dad, who was already queuing up at the cashier, and pleaded for him to buy me this book that I had not even read its sypnosis just because I thought that it will be nice to be portrayed as this intellectual kid that read an ultra-thick book. Trust me, I've no idea where this notion came from. I must be real vain and image-conscious then as compared to the person I'm now.

Being the ever doting father that he always is, he never even hesitated or looked at its price or read its summary and bought it for me. And I was such a wonderful daughter for putting it aside on the corner of the second row of the bookshelf, which is on top of my study table for a whole year without reading a single word. It was only when I tidied my table that I picked it up again.

I felt guilty instantly for not reading it as the book must be very expensive (to the seven-year-old me who was convinced that this is considered a form of luxury) and how could I not read it at all when I was the one who asked my dad to get it in the first place!

So I started reading it. I realized after reading that it was actually three stories combined into one book instead of just one, and that reading itself could be this exciting. I have a knack for visualizing the details I read and thus had no difficulty transporting into the adventures of Famous Five and get lost there.

My mom, who saw that I had developed this love in reading, bought me more of Famous Five. I grew from it to Sweet Valley and Nancy Drew; then Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen's novels, and have since proceeded to the variety of mangas and novels I read now.

I love to explore the plots that the authors built up in a painstakingly-detailed manner, the humor and wit of their words, and the swirl of emotions I feel whenever my whole being gets devoured into this exciting realm the authors have created. But most of all, I love how they can make me smile and laugh when I'm downright depressed.

I'm glad I became a bookworm.

positive thinking!

2009-03-27T01:09:00.007+08:00

Sorry I've not been writing. I was lost and way too occupied on my inspiration-seeking journey to gather idea(s) for a feature article lately and now that I got it, I'm back!

I don't know if it's just me but I've been feeling a sense of gloominess around town area ever since the recession kicks in. Did you get that too?

Ever since news of a looming recession begins, I have been curbing my inner shopaholic persona and refraining myself from stepping into any one of my favorite stores such as Warehouse, french connection and Massimo Dutti to prevent me from buying anything.

Being a typical female (I just strike out 'girl' after much thought, thanks to those questionnaires which keep reminding me of my age); who is also a victim of consumerism; and a stickler of the 'right' combination of clothes and shoes, this obviously would not work out entirely.

This happened on the day I arranged to meet my friend in town for dinner.

At Wisma Atria shopping centre: 'Okay, here's Warehouse. Don't look Adele, keep walking. Oh no, I saw this cool jacket on the mannequin at bebe. No, don't enter. Just walk straight and you'll be fine. Oh, Nine West's having a sale! So, you have lots of shoes! You'll survive!" Wisma safe. Obstacle one cleared.

Straight and into Takashimaya shopping centre: 'No, that Guess blouse will not suit you so don't look. Yes, Calvin Klein and DKNY are having a sale, but that's none of your business. Gosh, the color of that pair of Armani jeans is just what I'm looking for so long! Okay, no. It's not on sale, so you can wait for it to go on sale right?' Level two cleared. For now.

Then, as I headed towards Kinokuniya bookstore, I passed by this recently-opened boutique - Juicy Couture. 'Aww.. That dress is gorgeous!' And with that, I finally could not resist the temptation but to enter this forbidden enclosure.

Luckily, that gorgeous dress (about $600) and the cute denim shorts ($310) were too pricey for a student like me to splurge on, especially in bad times like now. 'Luckily', in the sense that I will not spend anything at all in the end! Ha ha!

In an attempt to cut costs and save more, I even traded my usual dose of Starbucks double-shot espresso frappuccino with caramel drizzle for kopitiam's $0.80 coffee :( and bring along a bottle of water instead of buying those bottled / canned / packets of water (they can be unhealthy too) whenever I go out.

But what can I say? All that's important is I'm alive, healthy enough to sit down here and whine about it, and not bankrupt right?

Like what Domenico Dolce of Dolce & Gabbana said,

"The worst times can be the best if you think with positive energy."

Like what the Japanese loved to say with their cute accent, "Positive thinkin'!"

check this out

2009-03-26T00:04:00.003+08:00

Stop Motion Piano And Drums - Watch more Funny Videos

This is a great example of

Practice
+
Hard work
+
Perseverance
+
Good editing software & maybe skills
+
Lots of time

= Pays off to a pretty cool end product! LOL

a beautiful song from my favourite singer

2009-03-15T01:12:00.008+08:00

When the cherryblossom colors flutter, I’m alone
Standing exhausted, I can’t cut off these feelings bottled up inside

When the color of new leaves shake, feelings overflow
I lost sight of everything and drifted towards you

The trees around us told us in silence
That we would both see:
People don’t have to be limited to one place

When the withering leaves change color, I am next to you
And as the passing days fade, our love changes

But please, let these trees
Protect these feelings
Silently rustling your leaves above us,
Just one more time..

Before long, the seasons will pass
And we will be taken somewhere else
But right now, there’s only one thing I know
Embrace me, silently

Covered by the snow, the feelings get lost
The footprints vanish, sounds disappear in vain

But please, let these trees
Protect these feelings
So that, frozen in eternity
We may live on here

The trees around us told us in silence
That we would both see:
People don’t have to be limited to one place

When the cherryblossom colors flutter, I’m alone
Savoring my thoughts of you

reflection of a faulty biological clock

2009-03-13T01:11:00.008+08:00

All talk and no action means nothing right? I've meant to take better care of myself but with my procrastinating past catching up to me for this matter, I've yet to do anything about it. Which is why I've got a dressing-down from my mother this morning, who is worried about my shrinking body size and bad habits which seem to take a toll on my health.

I don't work everyday since school started last week. On days where I've class, I tend to sleep late into noon, even though I've set the alarm to 9:30am or 10am. And for this morning, I woke up at a time where almost everyone would have started or finished their lunch by then - 1 o'clock. I had specifically set the alarm to 10am the previous night (wee hours of the morning at 2am to be exact) but somehow, I did not hear it going off at all.

I had tested it a few days ago, thinking it might be that my handphone's alarm is defective, but it worked perfectly well as compared to my biological clock that sleeps at 3am - 4am and wakes up in the afternoon. I can feel my heavy eyes straining to remain wide open from about 2am, but for some reason, I just have to find something to do as I can't sleep. My best friend who's a nurse suspects I'm suffering from insomnia.

This scenario has been happening repetitively for about a month now. I wake up, glance at the time, 'Shoot! It's 12 plus already!", and jump out of my little comfort zone called 'bed'. And this is only the start.

Which leads to the next issue - breakfast. Obviously, what I'm going to take at that kind of time is what one would call a 'brunch'. I used to think, 'ok, I've missed breakast, but I can make up for it by having a hearty lunch!' For commonsense point of view, it makes perfect sense. For a health specialist's viewpoint, it's one of those bad habits that when combined as a whole, it could turn nasty and serious.

My mother, who just woke up from her nap to cook, was totally aghast at me taking the most important meal of the day at 1:10pm. She gave me a lecture and showed me a newspaper article on the bad habits that lead to kidney failure. They are namely, skipping breakfast, having them irregularly, substituting proper meals for desserts or snacks, and stress. 4 bingos, I just got a perfect score for all of them.

If I don't do something about this messed-up lifestyle, I'm going to be those people who are prone to getting all sorts of diseases at a much younger age as compared to statistics five to ten years ago. Now, that is scary. To risk that, I'd rather not.

Shin Na & Breast Cancer

2009-02-20T23:44:00.012+08:00

Another unit through and done with. But what's not over and done with is the stories I have gathered and will remember while researching on my project. The most prominent one that stuck in my head is this blog which opened my eyes to a person's route to looming death. It has me thinking more deeply about cancer, life and loved ones.

I had to do this major assignment about the best media/showcase to find information related to breast cancer. We had a real client this time, which is the Breast Cancer Foundation. The main point here is to find creative yet realistic ways to improve communication means between the publics (in PR, there's no such thing as a single public) and raise awareness about breast cancer.

Before the formulation of a strategy comes research. So while researching on breast cancer online, I came across this blog whose blogger has passed on in this world - http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com/.

You might have read a recent news article about a TV journalist donating her body to medical research; or seen any one of the documentaries about her called 'Gentle Good-byes' and 'In the Face of Death'. Yes, that's her. Her name is Shin Na, and she was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2005.

After reading her posts, I was simply amazed at how pragmatic and strong one cancer patient can be, especially like what the documentary's title said, "in the face of death". It is hard not to like her after reading her posts, which circles around her life with her two adorable kids, her husband and her battle with breast cancer. I have not seen any of those documentaries but I'm certain that reading her blog is much more personalized and heartfelt than just watching them.

She looked far, like how she wanted her husband to tell her children of her death; and how her memorial service was going to be. She seemed to have thought about her children's lives without her often. Here's what she said in an unpublished post published by her husband:

"Shin's post (10 Dec 2008).......

People want to leave a mark on this world, leave behind a legacy, be immortalized in history books. That's never seemed important to me. After all, why would I care what people remember or think or say about me after I'd dead and gone? I'll be gone, after all.

The only reason leaving behind any kind of legacy is important to me is for my kids. If they can't have a living mother, at least they can have the memories of a mother who loved them to pieces. That isn't about me being encapsulated in their hearts and minds so that my existence on Earth will not have been for naught; it's about giving the kids something, anything to replace the mother who had to leave them too early. "

Here's a tribute to a brave warrior. I'm dedicating "Anyway" by Martina McBride, one of her favorite songs, in remembrance of her; those who have gone; others who are fighting this illness; and their families and loved ones.

Here, I'll like to make a point for everyone, including guys, to go for early screenings for breast cancer as early detection can cure it. Everyday, there are 3 - 4 diagnosis of breast cancer diagnosed. Please don't be the one to add on to the death statistics.

(These Pink Ribbon pins were given to me at the courtesy of 'Friendship Sponsors'. Left with pink crystals: Joyce, right: Christina. Thanks gals! You can get these pins at the Breast Cancer Foundation for $2 - $5 each, all for charity.)

A note to myself:
1) Cherish my loved ones every second for every single day.
2) Cherish myself & my health (been badly neglected)
3) When the going gets tough, the tough gets going :)

panda-zombie-wordy-Blast!!

2009-02-01T22:51:00.012+08:00

I'm so glad it's over and done with. At least for this unit.

My pampered brain who is so used to absorbing (via the neurological filter system I called the OIDR - Only Interested Details Registered) only the topics I'm interested in gets raw, unfamiliar theories forced into it.

I like communication theories, especially those on globalization, hegemony and political discourses. I like reading, though not necessarily absorbing (heez). But I don't like the process of squeezing my brain juice on an eleven-hour basis repetitively everyday because I have to complete eight assignments (6 Qs, 8 lovely sections) in 3 weeks while aiming for a D or HD. Yes, visualise a shriveled brain which is 98% dehydrated.

In the midst of it all, I resorted to filling my deprived stomach of only food that is bought from convenience stores like sandwiches and hot Milo two times a day. And I'm not even trying to go on a diet. Thank goodness feel-good films still exist! Shoving all these work aside, I sneaked out to watch 'Bride Wars' and, despite the bad reviews for it, I felt renewed after watching it. Banzai!

Life's too stressful to watch films that I labelled 'heavy'! And I know very well that I will feel depressed after watching it even though I'm not the protagonist and the plot isn't even a least bit related to me. I like 'Bride Wars' specifically because it is not your typical romance comedy but a story that focuses more of the sisterly friendship shared between two best friends. Hey xiang, where're you? I missed you gal!

Nonetheless, I find the some of these communication theories interesting and fun. One of them is about places that are a form of cultural text themselves - the White House that signifies America's politics like its presidents, government and its bureaucratic systems. The other one is Postmodernism. Think Gwen Stefani's music videos. Think Andy Warhol's iconic artpieces like the multiple replicas of the Campbell soup cans in different flavors. Yes, Postmodernism is Pop culture and everything satirical, fun and against the norms.

This is the whole set of the 32 Campbell soup cans paintings. I saw them once at Collectors Contemporary, a gallery specializing in Western contemporary art last year, and was amused and thoughtful as to why this has become an object of fascination for Warhol to paint them. They are placed in a chronological order based on the order of the time the flavors were introduced.

This is another one of my favorites from Warhol, titled 'Double Elvis'. Sadly, this was not exhibited in Singapore so I can only admire the photograph of it here in my lappy. To me, this is like a clever work of an artist to make a portrait film-like, as if you are watching a snippet of an action film of the role of Elvis Presley facing the villain in a gun showdown. And the beauty of it lies with Warhol's depiction of the different faces a superstar like Elvis portrays to the public - one in a film, one being his real self.

Hopefully the next intensive three weeks of the coming unit will at least be as fun as this if the lecturer decided that six to eight is a healthy number of assignments to be completed in such a short time, especially if the already panda-cum-zombie lookalike has to complete several incomprehensible readings just to do one assignment.

Never mind, just let me indulge in oblivion for now.

a glimpse of hope

2009-01-09T00:43:00.005+08:00

As I sat semi-dazed on my couch after reaching home from the new year's eve celebration at 3:49am, this question came to my mind, "What's the reason behind all this partying and celebration? For fun, hope, or reflection?"

Then I realised the answer is all three. I had an eventful year, with more ups than downs.But what if the downs are far more severe than the ups?

Fun: I deserved a well-earned break for enduring all those negative incidents and problems for the whole of 2008.

Reflection & Hope: May the past of bad begone, lessons derived learnt, & the good stays with me and my loved ones through it all

X'mas + New Year's Eve

2009-01-09T00:22:00.006+08:00

How does one measure a year?

2009-01-01T04:42:00.000+08:00

post-new year countdown

2009-01-01T03:44:00.000+08:00

New year's eve countdown celebration as an excuse to have fun and let loose with friends? Or to count down a new year that, hopefully (with fingers crossed), will be much better than the previous? Or to reflect on the past year's ups and downs?