ruminator embodiment

I always have a knack for remembering useless things. Think my mind has a tendency to fill my memory storage with useless matters before I get to proceed to think about my problems. And I ponder over them endlessly too (till I've got a definite answer). Here's a list of what I've been ruminating lately:

1. Why do I always love to write important details in abbreviations? I can't remember what they mean when I read them again!
2. How come drivers of normal-sized vehicles (sedans like a 1.5 Toyota Vios) can occupy two lanes on a straight road as if they're driving an Isuzu container lorry? 
3. Or that some vehicles speed just to overtake your vehicle, only to drive at 30% the speed in front of you?
4. How come consuming coffee can keep one awake yesterday and not today?
5. How come chips from one bag can be evenly seasoned and another of the same flavor not?
6. There are days when I paused to think of how to spell simple words like 'straight'. (Oh god I must be turning dumber) 
7. I've been counting the number of dramas that I stopped watching at the second last episode as I don't want the series to end with me watching their last episodes. And I realized it's A LOT. You''ll most probably get a response like this from me, "Oh that drama? Yeah I've watched it till the second last episode so I can't really tell you if I think it's fantastic or not. Up to that point, I think it'll get a 7/10 but knowing me, I'll fail it as soon as I know it's a terrible/utterly depressing/hasty ending."
8. Workaholics can also be defined as a group of people who naturally work compulsively once they stepped into their workplace or working mode but once they stop or leave, they find that they hate their jobs. But hey, it's a vicious cycle.
9. Silence is never 'golden' in the library. Just head down to the one in my school.
10. It's not that women don't like answering questions relating to their age. It's just that when a female reaches a ripe old age of 25, she just doesn't see the point of keeping count after that.

a handbag affair

Today's lecture was about buyer behavior and when my lecturer explains the buyer decision process, I know exactly what he is talking about.

The Buyer Decision Process:

1st stage - Need Recognition:
My only versatile (in terms of style and function) has gave up on me with four holes which were once fastened with rivets. Refusing to give up on it, I went to a few repair stores to get it fixed but they don't just don't have the same rivets as those on my handbag. They don't even have those in similar colors. Sigh... So I've been carrying my mom's handbag but I still have to get one for myself.

Verdict: I need a handbag.

2nd stage - Information Search:
This handbag affair has me absorbed in looking at photographs (zoom in, top view, back view) of one tote bag after another for a week now. That explains the dark circles around my eyes. I think I'm now more than ever qualified to join the panda-look-alike club.

3rd stage: Evaluation of Alternatives:
But how am I going to chose one that I really like and is suitable for me without bombing on my wallet? That needs a precise filter system.

So hopefully, the fourth stage of purchase decision arrives soon and that the fifth stage of postpurchase behavior will be a positive one unlike the negative sentiment I felt for my previous handbag that doesn't last.

Seriously, why do academics love to put labels on every single minuscule commonsensical stuff?

10 telling signs that I'm stressed

1. Laugh awkwardly
2. Smile, frown, smile frown (you get the point)
   
3. Binge on potato chips and Nutella hazelnut spread
4. Indulge in lots of chili padi (chili pepper)
5. Behaving like a true-blue insomniac, complete with no. 3 & 4 in the wee hours of the morning
6. Hairstyle that looks like I just got off the bed
   
7. Run while listening to metal,rock music or just Alanis Morissette's songs
8. Pile up stacks of research materials on my bedroom floor
9. Ordering overly-sweet coffee like toffee nut latte when all I want is a cup of cappuccino
10. Singing at the top of my voice when I drive alone

Seriously, I really need to get that punching bag soon...

fashion-savvy-not

One thing's for sure. I'm not cut out to be a fashion writer. This belief is reinforced recently when I chose to write a feature article for a fashion magazine. I read more news magazines than fashion magazines, so even if I have an interest in dress styles (not necessarily fashion as I don't follow fads), I don't possess any percentage of the fashion jargon nor the ability to describe a particular style in words.

Sure, I can always improve by reading and writing more of these articles. However, I don't have the same excitement when I put my thoughts into picturing or manually matching clothes with accessories and shoes as putting them into words. Maybe that's because I'm struggling to find the 'right words' - the kind of description and phrases that fashion writers love to use - for it. And to think I was contemplating on interning for one of the fashion magazines just a few months back as I thought it will be a good start.

Why, you may ask. Well, firstly, I have an interest in styling; second, I thought it will be easier to write on something you have an interest in. Besides, the word-count for fashion articles are much lower than other types of publications (in S'pore, fashion mags like Style consists of 500 - 1000-word articles).

Wrong. Ha ha. I practically feel like I was digging my grave the whole time during the whole process of researching, interviewing, compiling, and writing. Why couldn't I chose something I'm more well-versed in, like politics or community work, I lamented to my classmate one day. And my lovely friend just can't help but add on that since I have a petite frame, "it'll be quite an easy feat to finish digging the space for my grave."

Gee... Thankyouverymuch.

a dedication to the now 25-year-old me

Some songs have become part of my life. It can be a piece of memory embedded in it. A source of inspiration or determination to just do your best. Or a companion that changes along with your mood.

"If we hold on together" by Diana Ross and Utada Hikaru's "First Love" remind me of how me and my girlfriends used to sing them in my secondary school days. "Soar" by Christina Aguilera and Martina McBride's "Anyway" never fails to put me on the right track from procrastination or the point of giving up. (The latter song reminds me of Shin Na (my Feb '09 archive) too.)

For more than five years, I have a habit of listening to "かわらないこと～since 1976～" (Things That Don't Change) by Kokia on my birthdays. I first saw it on MTV and was mesmerized by its lyrics and the feelings that seem to exude from Kokia's singing ever since. Once again, I clicked on this song again subconsciously 34 minutes into my birth date.

Everyone has his/her own interpretations of a song and its lyrics. To me, this track is about gratitude for the little things that remain unchanged in life such as family's love, that makes you want to do your best in everything. And most importantly, to always be myself.

these 2 weeks

I'm in the midst of these two weeks that are packed with lessons everyday and looming deadlines for projects and test.

I was worrying about them, how to manage my time for school, work and helping out my parents; and whether I'll be able to do well for all of them.

Then I got fed-up of worrying. What the heck, just live through it.

"Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning."
~ Winston Churchill

mood = stormy

Which is worse: Not knowing what you want in life and spend your days confused, or knowing exactly what you want in life and everything just does not fall in place no matter how hard you try?

Been feeling troubled by the same old problems for several years, to the extent they are like old 'friends' likened to wounds now. These are the hidden wounds that everyone has, at least one, depending on one's own definition of 'problem'.

Even the personal mantra of 'putting on your best mood, to face the worst situations', a literal translation of my favorite mandarin saying, have overstretched my limits of optimism.

It is pretty frustrating and depressing to find that no matter how hard one tries to make things even a least bit better continuously for such a long time, regardless of how optimistic one tries to be despite carrying a heavy heart; there is bound to be the final straw that marks the point of giving up.

tech versus me

The earphones are defective again. My third one this year. Since last year, I've changed a total of seven earphones. I've tried earphones from various labels, but all of them just gave up on me somehow at the end of the few months I had used them. Everyone seems to have the same old one with them that lasts as long as their iPod, all except me.

It's been almost two weeks since the 'demise' of my last pair of earphones, with its left side exposing two mini red wires and a sticker labeled 'HQ 1814'. I'm so fed-up that I'm temporarily boycotting earphones for now.

Which is why my iTouch is pretty lonely these days. I still carry it along in my bag out of habit, but I didn't touch it at all. I used it as a device to read the ibooks, play games, organize my schedule and listen to music. And even though I could still use it for most of its functions, I didn't bother to charge it. It just doesn't feel the same without the earphones.

That leads to the fact that I repel technology. While most people would have no difficulties sending files via email from their mobile phones, I need to find different positions for my mobile phone to gather the strongest signal in order to send. For all the attempts at it, I succeed only once. After close to two hours of sheer stubborn determination. And I realized only after sending that I could actually use its memory card to upload the files.

Just the other day, I nearly call my Internet Service Provider to tell them about what I think of their poor-quality modem. I had switched everything on as usual, and when I clicked my Mozilla Internet icon, this notification of disconnected server popped up.

Thinking that I might have missed some steps, I switched everything off and on again. Same thing happened. So I tried every single thing just to get connected. And you might have already guessed it, all to no avail. I called my boyfriend for help. Being a tech-geek himself, he patiently go through all the precise steps to check and repair it. I, on the other line, was going to erupt soon.

I was exhausted from working the whole day till 11 pm.; the suppliers and customers were not exactly nice to me; and the last thing I needed was a faulty Internet connection, especially one that still refused to work after you spent two long hours to repair it.

And nothing changed after going through these measures. That was the last straw. I started crying and venting it out on my unsuspecting boyfriend. When I tried to go online the next day, everything worked just fine, as if all the troubles I went through the night before didn't exist.

Know what I mean? I hate technology, I repel technology, and yet I can't live without technology. I used to think that unlike the Digital Natives that most of you probably are, I'm one of those rare few cavemen who can live free from technology without a hitch. Ha ha fat chance. I had already caused all hell to break loose on that night I could not use the Internet.

things I can do without

1. Things I bought yesterday going on sale today. Especially costly items.

2. Customers who have half of their family members on the store on standby two doors away comparing the prices on two products of different brands. It's irritating enough that you need to compare products from different labels right in front of me, so please don't add on to my nerves the cold shoulder you give me when I talk to you; and ask me to bring down so many items and just leave like that. Please think of the sincere sales person who's trying his/her best in providing the best service to you before you start to treat them that way. They're not mimes or your slaves.

3. Suppliers who deliver stocks that you didn't order and give you a frown and bad attitude when you had them returned. Enough said.

4. Laundry services that ruined my clothes. They're that precious to me to spend the money to have them cleaned by you, so if you or your staff don't know how to handle them well, let me know beforehand thankyouverymuch.

5. Results that are not released when they were supposed to months earlier. Three units overdue. Look, I've done my bloody best, so it'll be nice if you can at least let me know my results at the promised date?

6. Blisters from new shoes.

7. Boyfriend who's self-absorbed in his own little world that he opts for entertainment and not communicating with you despite not seeing each other for some time.

8. Commuters who talk so loudly on the phone that you can't hear yourself.

9. People who don't get back to you promptly when you called or smsed them.

10. Crazy unstable Internet connection.


Phew. There, I got it all off my chest.

short updates

• Countdown to CATS: 17 hours 33 minutes!
• Can't wait to catch The Soloist, a film based on a true story. Click here to go to its official site.
• The results for tuberculosis tests are out. They're negative :)

uniqlo's Jap CM

Juri (shorter hair) & Meisa (long hair) look real cute in this UNIQLO commercial. I have not stepped into the newly-opened outlet here in Tampines One. Will I be able to play with the rows of neatly-folded clothes over there too? :p

positive thinking!

Sorry I've not been writing. I was lost and way too occupied on my inspiration-seeking journey to gather idea(s) for a feature article lately and now that I got it, I'm back!

I don't know if it's just me but I've been feeling a sense of gloominess around town area ever since the recession kicks in. Did you get that too?

Ever since news of a looming recession begins, I have been curbing my inner shopaholic persona and refraining myself from stepping into any one of my favorite stores such as Warehouse, french connection and Massimo Dutti to prevent me from buying anything.

Being a typical female (I just strike out 'girl' after much thought, thanks to those questionnaires which keep reminding me of my age); who is also a victim of consumerism; and a stickler of the 'right' combination of clothes and shoes, this obviously would not work out entirely.

This happened on the day I arranged to meet my friend in town for dinner.

At Wisma Atria shopping centre: 'Okay, here's Warehouse. Don't look Adele, keep walking. Oh no, I saw this cool jacket on the mannequin at bebe. No, don't enter. Just walk straight and you'll be fine. Oh, Nine West's having a sale! So, you have lots of shoes! You'll survive!" Wisma safe. Obstacle one cleared.

Straight and into Takashimaya shopping centre: 'No, that Guess blouse will not suit you so don't look. Yes, Calvin Klein and DKNY are having a sale, but that's none of your business. Gosh, the color of that pair of Armani jeans is just what I'm looking for so long! Okay, no. It's not on sale, so you can wait for it to go on sale right?' Level two cleared. For now.

Then, as I headed towards Kinokuniya bookstore, I passed by this recently-opened boutique - Juicy Couture. 'Aww.. That dress is gorgeous!' And with that, I finally could not resist the temptation but to enter this forbidden enclosure.

Luckily, that gorgeous dress (about $600) and the cute denim shorts ($310) were too pricey for a student like me to splurge on, especially in bad times like now. 'Luckily', in the sense that I will not spend anything at all in the end! Ha ha!

In an attempt to cut costs and save more, I even traded my usual dose of Starbucks double-shot espresso frappuccino with caramel drizzle for kopitiam's $0.80 coffee :( and bring along a bottle of water instead of buying those bottled / canned / packets of water (they can be unhealthy too) whenever I go out.

But what can I say? All that's important is I'm alive, healthy enough to sit down here and whine about it, and not bankrupt right?

Like what Domenico Dolce of Dolce & Gabbana said,

"The worst times can be the best if you think with positive energy."

Like what the Japanese loved to say with their cute accent, "Positive thinkin'!"